Curvy besties, why are you forced to know the best ways to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office? Going to the doctor can be a nerve-wracking experience for multiple reasons, but for plus size patients, it’s often a whole different level of anxiety.
You’re there for help, but sometimes it feels like all they see is your weight. You mention a headache, and they suggest losing a few pounds. It’s frustrating and disheartening, especially when you know weight doesn’t equate to health.
Knowing The Best Ways To Advocate For Yourself At The Doctor’s Office Is Key
No one wants to be dismissed or misunderstood. The constant worry your concerns will be ignored and chalked up to your weight can be overwhelming. And if you’re a plus size person of color, it can be even worse. The intersection of weight bias and racial bias creates a double whammy that makes every visit feel like a battle. Furthermore, the American Medical Association has even pointed out that BMI is rooted in racism.
For instance, I’m Black and part Japanese, and I’ve been fat my entire life. My parents taught me early to pick a medical provider who makes you feel seen, safe, and heard. Therefore, most of my doctors have been women of color, specifically Black or Asian, including any mental health providers. I quickly understood that if my doctor didn’t look like me or at least knew some of my plights, I would leave the doctor’s office with nothing accomplished. Additionally, if it is a new doctor, I always bring a list of my blood pressure (YES…it’s that serious!) and proof that I am active at least four times per week.
But how do you advocate for yourself in these situations? And make it extremely clear: when you’re not feeling your best, you shouldn’t have to worry about standing up for yourself for proper care. Here are some of the best ways to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office.
1. Be Prepared
Before your appointment, jot down your symptoms, questions, and concerns. This will keep you focused and ensure you cover everything important. Being organized will also help you stay in control of the conversation.
2. SPEAK UP
I apologize to the non-confrontational ones in advance. This next tip is crucial. SPEAK UP! If your doctor starts to focus on your weight instead of your symptoms, steer the conversation back. Yes, you can start gently and say, “I understand my weight can be a factor, but I’d like to discuss [insert specific symptom] today.” It’s your appointment, and you deserve to talk about your health on your terms.
3. Bring an Ally
Having a friend or family member with you can help you feel supported and ensure your concerns are taken seriously. They can help you remember important points and speak up if you feel dismissed. For instance, I became extremely sick in 2018, and my weight had nothing to do with my illness, but my rheumatologist highly disagreed despite the medical facts. Luckily for me, my father came to the next appointment because, at that time, I was too sick to continue arguing with the doctor. And let’s just say that day was added to the list of reasons why I appreciate my dad!
4. Ask for Alternatives
Ask for alternatives if your doctor suggests a treatment plan you’re uncomfortable with. For example, if they recommend weight loss before addressing your immediate concern, ask if there are other treatments to consider.
5. Find the Right Doctor
Sometimes, the best way to advocate for yourself is to find a new doctor. Look for one who specializes in plus size patients or has a reputation for being size-inclusive. Don’t settle for a doctor who doesn’t respect you and your concerns. Having a supportive medical team can make all the difference. You can reference or utilize tools like the HAES Directory by ASDAH, an advocacy group that educates “about medical anti-fat bias and advocate for healthcare to align with the Health at Every Size® approach” to help you find your ideal health care provider.
When doctors, nurses, and specialists actually listen to you, it feels refreshing and empowering. They focus on your symptoms, not just your size, and work with you to find solutions that make sense for you. A great medical team respects you as a whole person, not just a number on a scale.
Advocating for yourself at the doctor’s office is essential, especially as a plus size person. It can help reduce the anxiety of doctor visits and ensure you receive the care and respect you deserve. And when you do find that supportive medical team, it makes all the effort worth it. So remember, the best ways to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office start with believing in your right to be heard and respected.
The author’s content and opinions have not been pre-reviewed, approved or endorsed by Discover.
