Guest Blogger – The Curvy Fashionista https://thecurvyfashionista.com The Curvy Fashionista is THE plus size fashion media platform dedicated to celebrating plus size folks with curves, confidence, style, and smarts; covering the latest in plus size fashion news. Tue, 15 Oct 2024 19:22:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.1 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/TCF-Favicon-100x100.jpg Guest Blogger – The Curvy Fashionista https://thecurvyfashionista.com 32 32 Opinion: We May Have An Old Woman Problem Here https://thecurvyfashionista.com/alicia-johnson-mature-plus-model/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/alicia-johnson-mature-plus-model/#respond Wed, 16 Oct 2024 11:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=145478&preview=true&preview_id=145478 Mature plus model, Alicia Johnson shares her opinion and thoughts on age and size inclusivity in the fashion world.

This article, Opinion: We May Have An Old Woman Problem Here first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Superstar models of my youth are gracing the covers of the big magazines and walking in many of the shows. Elder actresses are walking shows and being featured in advertising, too. Marvelous. Almost. These older models and actresses are also always commented on for how age-defyingly fit and youthful-looking they are. 

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Suit: Thom Browne Made-to-Measure. Shirtdress: Henrik Vibskov. Bag: Alexander McQueen. Tie and Shoes: Thom Browne. Earrings: Elsa Peretti for Tiffany. Rings: Paloma Picasso for Tiffany, Linanoel. Hair and Makeup: Mala Elhassan: Photo: Studio Nº88

I’m a ‘mature’ large-sized model, and in conversation with my agent at Ford Models in New York, I found out that I’m the only one in North America.

Let me repeat: I’m the only one. 
And I’m not getting booked.

I’m good with not getting booked because another model fits the casting brief better, but I’m the only one. So, if there were a casting brief, I would be the only one to choose from. Ipso facto, there is no casting brief for a mature, large-sized model.

Alicia Johnson Mature Plus Model
Image via Alicia Johnson

Why?

We may have an old-woman-at-the-top problem here — specifically, the women in charge of the fashion business. 

Big, voluptuous young bodies are great, but I have the sneaking suspicion that big, voluptuous old bodies are seen as having been Let go.  Unappealing.  Maybe even a little shameful. 

Being old and large-size, it seems, is bumping up against those unwell stereotypes we were raised with, the unconscious, ingrained, generational, and tired, anorexic aesthetics of heroin chic. 

I believe that we (old women) are so deeply ingrained with these stereotypes that we can’t see ourselves with the same grace and empathy that we see others. Instead, we lament our aging bodies and lost youth — and my cohort is actually in charge of the fashion world.

Alicia Johnson Mature Plus Model
Image via Alicia Johnson

The fashion industry has the power to show our daughters and granddaughters that authentic grace and beauty can exist for aging women.

We have the same moral obligation to demonstrate that being beautiful while being old comes in as many shapes and sizes, ethnicities, and quirks as it does while being young. 

Alicia Johnson Mature Plus Model
Image via Alicia Johnson

I think it’s time for the old women at the top to wake up, show some empathy — to themselves first — and then fight for some grace for the rest of us by wielding their power for cultural good.  Write the casting brief. Start with New York Fashion Week. 

For our culture to be well, we need to see an authentic range of role models of aging. 

Article by Alicia Johnson, is a a model/global brand marketer/author, who has a book coming soon, titled Buried Treasure: A Field Guide to the Life-Changing Magic of Revealing Yourself.

This article, Opinion: We May Have An Old Woman Problem Here first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Three Women in the Fashion Industry Talk About Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market https://thecurvyfashionista.com/gaps-and-opportunities-in-the-plus-size-market/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/gaps-and-opportunities-in-the-plus-size-market/#comments Tue, 24 Sep 2024 20:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=145080 Fashion Week just passed and while there were some plus size highlights, the lack of representation was the overwhelming theme (again). It’s not surprising that research shows that 81% of women don’t feel represented by fashion advertising in general and a whopping 90% don’t feel represented by fashion models or runway shows!  Given that we […]

This article, Three Women in the Fashion Industry Talk About Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Fashion Week just passed and while there were some plus size highlights, the lack of representation was the overwhelming theme (again). It’s not surprising that research shows that 81% of women don’t feel represented by fashion advertising in general and a whopping 90% don’t feel represented by fashion models or runway shows! 

Given that we ALL have to wear clothes, we should all be able to find and buy clothes that fit not just our body, but also our style, our budget and our values. But for many women that is not the case. 

New US body data, published by social-shopping platform Mys Tyler, shows that more than half (54.4%) of women in the US wear a size 14 or above — considered “plus size” by the industry. And despite plus size being the majority, this segment of consumers has it the worst when it comes to shopping, with a host of additional limitations beyond those experienced by the straight and mid-sized categories. 

If we can talk about it more, perhaps we can all impact the change we need to see? To start off the conversation, we asked three women in the fashion industry to talk about gaps and opportunities in the plus size market. 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market

Alison Zupancic: “My experience as a plus size model & creator” 

“The plus size market remains underserved and now, actively regressing during the Y2K resurgence” 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market - Curvy Girl in DC
Image via Creator

I’m Alison Zupancic (@curvygirldc), a DMV-based plus size content creator passionate about size inclusivity, diverse representation, and advocating for women’s health. Living with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s disease, I’ve learned to challenge limitations, both in my personal life and within the fashion industry, encouraging others to do the same. 

While we’ve made progress, the fashion industry still struggles with size inclusivity. The plus size market remains underserved and now, actively regressing during the Y2K resurgence. As a model and creator, I’ve seen how a lack of representation and limited sizing can make women feel excluded from fashion that should celebrate them. 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market- Curvy Girl in DC
Image via Creator

One of the biggest gaps is the lack of fashionable, sustainable clothing in extended sizes. Many brands claim to offer plus, but often fall short in providing trendy, high-quality garments past a size 22. This issue is worsened by the fast-fashion industry, which tends to neglect sustainability in plus size designs. I’d love to see more brands offer well-made, stylish pieces for all body types while prioritizing sustainable fashion. 

Each fashion week, plus size models remain underrepresented in campaigns and on the runways. The industry continues to highlight and reward thinner models, leaving out the vast majority of body types that exist in the real world. Representation isn’t just about fashion—it’s about empowerment & visibility. It’s time for the industry to embrace meaningful and constructive conversations with the plus community, fostering a space that reflects and celebrates all. 

Kemi Ajibare: “My experience as a fashion stylist” 

“Plus size sections are frequently reduced to basics, devoid of the trendy, fashion-forward pieces that many clients desire, which can prove challenging.” 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market- Styled by Kemi
Image via Creator

I’m Kemi (@styledbykemi), a personal stylist and image consultant, passionate about helping everyday professionals elevate their style with modern, versatile wardrobe essentials. While fashion celebrates diversity in many forms, it needs to improve when it comes to size-inclusivity. Many of my clients are plus size, and despite this category representing a significant portion of consumers, it is frequently overlooked by the industry which can lead my clients to feel frustrated and alienated. 

Among the frustrations are the limited options available (a key reason they seek out my help to point them in the right direction and save them time on research). Plus size sections are frequently reduced to basics, devoid of the trendy, fashion-forward pieces that many clients desire, which can prove challenging. 

The fit and quality of plus size options can also be subpar. Many brands simply scale up their designs without considering the unique proportions and needs of plus size bodies, for my clients this often results in lots of trial and error with ill-fitting garments. 

And finally, so many brands are missing out because they lack plus size representation in their advertising and merchandising (even when they carry the sizes), which sends a message to plus size women that they are not the intended audience. 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market- Styled by Kemi
Image via Creator

Brands that don’t cater, or poorly cater to, plus size women are missing out on servicing the majority of the market. Fortunately, I’m seeing more brands wanting to serve this market better. For brands looking to make a change in this space, here are some things to consider: 

1. Expand size ranges thoughtfully by working with plus size fit models and considering the proportions and comfort of larger sizes. A size-inclusive collection should offer the same style, quality, and attention to detail. 

2. Incorporate diversity of plus size bodies across advertising, campaigns, and runway shows. 

3. Price consistently across sizes, plus size consumers should not be subjected to higher prices. 

4. Create an inclusive shopping experience by offering your full range of sizes in physical stores, not just online, and by training staff to provide respectful and knowledgeable service to all customers. A welcoming atmosphere can significantly impact the shopping experience for plus size individuals. 

Brianna Siciliano “My experience as a plus size shopper” 

“Plus-size isn’t one-size-fits-all, yet when I look at fashion ads, I mostly see hourglass figures, even in 2024!”

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market
Image via Creator

I’m Brianna Siciliano (@briannamaria95), Brand & Community Manager at Mys Tyler. I’ve been passionate about plus size representation for most of my life, in college my honors thesis explored the ways plus size bodies are represented in media. 

As a plus size tween turned teen turned woman/adult, fashion has always been a struggle. I can’t remember a time where I was able to walk into a shopping mall (or any store for that matter, excluding the very select plus size brands) where I was able to find options that fit my full-figured, tall (6 foot 1) frame. And let’s not even talk about stylish, trendy options! As a result, I’ve primarily shopped at exclusively plus size brands like Torrid and Lane Bryant. While I’m thankful they cater to plus sizes (beyond small and mid-fats!), being restricted to two brands is quite boring. 

Plus size isn’t one-size-fits-all, yet when I look at fashion ads, I mostly see hourglass figures, even in 2024! I have a bigger belly, wide hips, and a bigger butt, but I rarely see bodies like mine represented. We make up the majority of the population, yet we’ve been marginalized and othered for so long. 

Three Women on the Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market
Image via Creator

There’s a lot that brands are getting wrong. Some market themselves as being size inclusive but only go up to a XXL-XXXL, or their “plus sizes,” are actually sized-up straight sizes and not designed for plus size bodies. Styles can be quite matronly, boring, or ugly, and nothing like their straight size pieces (which also have a much larger selection). And it’s frustrating when brands offer plus sizes, but don’t use plus sized models in their advertising. 

Universal Standard is one of the few brands that’s truly inclusive in their sizing and fit. They offer showroom pop-ups across the country where you can meet with a stylist and try on pieces before ordering. I own a few pieces from their collection and I love supporting a brand that supports my community! 

There are some other brands doing a pretty good job catering to the plus market, like What Lo Wants, Wray NYC, and Rebdolls, all of which I haven’t tried, but have seen positive things about online. But we still have a long way to go. 

What is YOUR perspective on the state of plus size fashion? Do you have similar thoughts as these three about the gaps and opportunities in the plus size market or did they miss something not mentioned?

Can you relate to any of these women? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Author: Sarah Neill, founder of Mys Tyler

This article, Three Women in the Fashion Industry Talk About Gaps and Opportunities in the Plus Size Market first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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The Average American Woman is ‘Plus Size’ – Why Does She Still Feel Like the Minority? https://thecurvyfashionista.com/average-american-woman-is-plus-size/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/average-american-woman-is-plus-size/#respond Fri, 06 Sep 2024 11:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=144663 With the help of MYS Tyler, we are sharing data gives brands the evidence to properly support and invest in the average American woman of all shapes and sizes.

This article, The Average American Woman is ‘Plus Size’ – Why Does She Still Feel Like the Minority? first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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New York Fashion Week kicks off on September 6th, and while most will be watching the runways to see the latest trends, our team will be eagerly watching (and hoping) to see more representation and diversity.

Earlier this year, Vogue Business published a study on size-inclusivity at AW24, classifying looks as straight size (0-4), mid-size (6-12) and plus size (14+). Their study showed that a dismal 0.8% of looks at New York Fashion Week were plus size.

NYFW Models vs the Average American Woman
image via MYS Tyler

We all know that fashion is not representative, but a lack of up-to-date credible data has meant it’s been hard to say exactly how unrepresentative it is. That’s why we decided to share ours. 

Since launching in 2020, Mys Tyler has been downloaded by over 600,000 women across the globe who enter their body data so we can match them with like-bodied fashion creators. We realized our data could plug this gap and highlight the need for better representation in the fashion industry. We’ve just launched Mys Tyler Insights: US Edition with data from over 42,000 American women aged 18+.

the Average American Woman is plus size
Image vis MYS Tyler

Our data suggests that the majority of American women (54.4%) are considered plus size, when compared to the 0.8% of plus size looks at fashion week, this disparity is clearly evident (and shocking).

Many women “feel” underrepresented, and now we hope they can feel validated, with data to back up their personal experiences.

Other insights from our data suggest:

  • The average American woman wears a size 14 and is ‘plus size’
  • The most common dress size in America is size 16 
  • The average American woman has a height of (5’4″)
  • The average cup size worn by American women is a D
  • And most American women (58.3%) wear a D cup or larger
The Average American Woman is a dress size 16
image via Mys Tyler
the Average American Woman bra size is D cup
Image via Mys Tyler

Given the substantial market for plus size, it’s disappointing that the feedback we consistently hear from our community is that the category often feels like an after-thought. Poor (or boring) design, fit issues, lack of availability in brick and mortar (even when brands stock extended sizing, they frequently only carry them online), and an absence of representation across diverse bodies.

Even if there is a “token” plus size model, they are often tall, hourglass, young and with no visible cellulite which again is not representative of most bodies. 

There’s been a number of brands recently that have reduced their size range noting a lack of demand, but knowing there is a market, we are pointing the finger back at them – did they create a quality product, and let their target audience know they stocked their size? Did they make it easy (and less risky) for customers to give them a try?

We know that many brands aren’t doing a great job, and we want to offer some advice.

What Brands can be Doing Better to Serve the Average American Woman Who Is Plus Size:

 the Average American Woman via MYS Tyler
Image via Gregory Beltre for Mys Tyler
  • Invest in research and design to create quality fit that is also on trend
  • Show clothing on a diversity of bodies – the more diversity the easier it is for users to know if the brand is relevant, and imagine the clothes on their bodies
  • Stock their full range of sizing in-store if they have physical locations, allow women the chance to try things on without the risk of online shipping and returns
  • Engage with plus size creators who can spread the word that you cater to them, especially if they’re new to the market

You don’t have to be a fashion lover, for fashion to be relevant in your life. We all have to get dressed every day, and we all feel better when we like our outfit. If you can’t see fashion on a body like your own (height, size, shape, coloring and age), it can be challenging to know if an item is going to fit you, and that’s IF it even comes in your size! 

Underrepresentation in the fashion industry not only has a negative impact on how women feel about their bodies, but it directly translates to an inefficient shopping experience, poor fit, and high return rates – negatively impacting profits, and environmental sustainability.

We hope this data gives brands the evidence to properly support and invest in the average American woman of all shapes and sizes.

Sarah Neill is the Founder and CEO of Mys Tyler, the social-commerce app set to solve the $1 trillion “fit” problem by creating a more empowering and personalised shopping experience for all women. 

This article, The Average American Woman is ‘Plus Size’ – Why Does She Still Feel Like the Minority? first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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8 Self-Care Practices to Improve Your Relationship with Your Body https://thecurvyfashionista.com/self-care-practices/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/self-care-practices/#respond Fri, 30 Aug 2024 14:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=143837 Were are all on a journey with self-love and self-care. To help you out, here are some self-care practices for building and establishing your own body positive messages this summer into fall.

This article, 8 Self-Care Practices to Improve Your Relationship with Your Body first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Endless curated images and unrealistic beauty standards on social media are placing overwhelming pressure on the younger generation to achieve a so-called “perfect” body. According to new research by EduBirdie, 40% of Gen Z experience body image concerns after scrolling through social media. 

This is why plus size influencers, bloggers, vloggers, and creators are so important. Their presence helps us navigate the images, the messaging, and the pressures that society may try to place on us, with their standards of beauty. It’s no surprise that Google searches for ‘why do I hate my body’ have surged by 89% in the past month!

But it doesn’t have to be this way! To fight this pressure, here are some handy tips for building and establishing your own body positive messages this summer into fall.

8 Self-Care Practices to Help Improve How YOU see Your Body

allgo an app for plus size people n a 20H DVM unsplash scaled 1

1. Clear up your social media feeds

Hit mute, unfollow, or block those social media accounts that spread negativity and thrive on making people feel inadequate. Replace them with influencers, activists, and creators who celebrate diversity and promote self-love instead. Put your mental health first and create a feed that lifts your spirits instead of dragging you down. 

2. Practice self-compassion

All that kindness you show others? Treat yourself the same way. Whether you’ve run a marathon or binge-watched your favorite series in record time, you’re doing great—so replace that negative self-talk with positive affirmations!

3. Engage in enjoyable exercise

Weightless Maggie McGill
Weightless by Maggie McGill

Exercise is important, but it doesn’t have to be a chore. Whether you want to dance, swim, practice yoga, or climb a mountain, do what you love. And listen to your body. If an activity makes you feel worn out and miserable instead of energized and happy, try something new.

4. Nourish your body

Restrictive diets won’t make you feel better—You’ll feel guilty every time you eat something with a little flavor. You don’t need to cut out your favorite foods and avoid carbs at all costs; you need to tune into your hunger and fullness signals.

5. Snap the real you

Stop heavily editing or adding a filter over every photo you take. Capture the real you, and you will soon become comfortable in your own skin. You’re beautiful, so show confidence and be proud of your authenticity.

Free Plus Size Stock Images from Navabi
Image via Navabi

6. Wear what you love

Clear out your wardrobe of anything that doesn’t fit your body or make you feel good. Then head out for some retail therapy and invest in clothes that make you feel your best—not anybody else.

7. Celebrate your individuality

Every body is unique and should be celebrated. Accept what makes you unique. Instead of comparing yourself to others, consider what you appreciate about your physique. Celebrate your unique traits, whether they are freckles, curves, or scars. They describe your narrative and define who you are.

8. Set boundaries with others

It’s okay to set boundaries with friends, relatives, or coworkers who make negative remarks about your body or appearance. Tell them how their comments affect you and that you prefer interactions that foster positivity and self-love. Surrounding oneself with encouraging individuals can make a significant difference in how you perceive yourself.

About the Author:

Marina Klimenka, wellness expert and visionary Co-founder of the face yoga app Luvly.

This article, 8 Self-Care Practices to Improve Your Relationship with Your Body first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Breaking Free of the Body Type Mold for Your Big Day https://thecurvyfashionista.com/julie-sabatino-body-type-mold-big-day/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/julie-sabatino-body-type-mold-big-day/#respond Fri, 03 May 2024 11:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=140570 Bridal Stylist, Julie Sabatino shares her personal story and experience that launched her business, The Stylish Bride, and book "Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle."

This article, Breaking Free of the Body Type Mold for Your Big Day first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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TCF welcomes bridal stylist, Julie Sabatino to share her story and share how her own personal experience with wedding dress shopping impacted her, because her purpose, and now platform with the launch of her new book “Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle.”

As a curvy woman, I learned early on that I was a pear. Heavier on the bottom and smaller on top. Over the years, the sizes of each have varied, but the shape remained the same. It didn’t particularly bother me that I was associated with a fruit, but it did leave me with the lasting impression that the heavier parts (my tush and thighs) should be hidden, camouflaged and minimized. It just seemed obvious, right? Of course, I should want to look as thin as possible and present myself to the best possible advantage. I never questioned it. Years of struggling with low self-esteem and cutting off the bottom of my pantyhose (before Spanx) were my norm.

It never occurred to me that there was another way – that I didn’t have to hate my bottom. Instead, I had to love my top. But this isn’t my speech to encourage you to embrace your body as it is (although I sincerely hope that you do). Instead, this story is about highlighting what you love about yourself and acknowledging that this means different things to different people. And then doubling down on that self-love on one of the biggest days of your life. The wedding day.

Whether you are curvy or thin, tall or short, busty or flat chested, the external scrutiny a woman faces is never more poignant than when shopping for a wedding dress.

Someone said to me once that a wedding is the crucible moment in a woman’s life where all of their deepest anxieties come to the surface. I really think that’s true. It’s an event that is all about you (and of course, your partner too), set on an amplified public stage – something you want to look your absolute best for.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride by Julie Sabatino
image by Phillip Van Nostrand for Julie Sabatino

You want to look back on those pictures in the years to come and think, damn, I was hot! All eyes are on you on that day, and all the days to come thanks to social media. That’s a lot of pressure. And we are our own worst critics. And in this expectation of hosting a “dream wedding” as defined by society, and you’re expected to look the part.

I faced these challenges myself and all of my earlier struggles seemed like nothing compared to the difficulty I had when I was shopping for my wedding dress. I was 21 and engaged and I had absolutely no clue where or how to start shopping for a wedding dress.

So, I did what every bride in Manhattan did in 2001, I booked an appointment at Vera Wang. I honestly thought it would be an amazing morning that my favorite women and I would all share together and I would find a dress that I loved. Just like in the movies. Right? Wrong.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride by Julie Sabatino
image by Christian Oth for Julie Sabatino

While the store and consultant could not be more lovely, I realized about five minutes into my appointment that none of the samples were going to fit me. They were all a bridal size 8.

Sidebar…in case you don’t know, bridal sizing runs small. Really small. Bridal sizing is based on a standard that was formulated in the late 40’s and early 50’s by Haute Couture houses in Europe. As time went on, women got larger and most ready-to-wear fashion brands adopted with the times and expanded their size charts, but the bridal industry at large did not.

The reason is complicated, but mostly related to the fact that most wedding dresses are “made-to-order” and the rationale is if we are taking your measurements and then fitting the dress to you, numerical size doesn’t matter. But it does matter. It actually matters a great deal. A size 8 wedding dress is equivalent to a size 4 ready-to-wear dress, and I was a size 10 when it was time to try on my dress.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride by Julie Sabatino
image by Phillip Van Nostrand for Julie Sabatino

I will never forget the humiliation I felt the first time I had to come out of the dressing room and show my very thin and very judgmental future sister-in-law a dress with the back wide open. I was mortified. The experience continued for the next hour at which time I left and I cried.

I spent the next several months searching for the perfect wedding dress and struggled through many more appointments like that. (In 2020 I developed a product called The Sample Size Solution that helps non-sample size women fit into the samples and have some added coverage. Because this very real problem, still exists.)

Through years on my therapist’s couch, I now realize that there were many factors contributing to my dress distress, and it wasn’t just the sample size. But for the purpose of this story, I am going to focus on one: every consultant I met thought that because I was pear shaped, I should wear a ballgown dress to hide the bottom and show off the top.

The only problem was, that’s not what I wanted. I actually felt bigger when I had all that fabric and crinoline on me, not smaller. I eventually found a slim, A-line dress that I loved, and felt really beautiful in. But to get there, I had to cut the noise of the salons, well-meaning friends, and the industry and instead, listen to my inner cheerleader and advocate.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride by Julie Sabatino
image by Christian Oth for Julie Sabatino

To this day I love my dress, and I’m thankful for the difficulty that I faced because it led me to starting The Stylish Bride in 2004. Since then, I’ve worked with thousands of women and I can tell you one fundamental truth: what makes a woman feel confident and beautiful is highly personal and different for everyone.

And the bridal industry as a system is not set up to make you feel your best. At every turn you’ll hear the word “perfect” or “dream” when referring to a wedding. These are ideals no woman can compete with in real life.

We want to feel our own personal best but how can we as women do that within this framework? When it comes to the dress, it’s time we focus on what we want to highlight, rather than cover up. It has to be about what we love about ourselves, not what we don’t.

When we start with a new client at The Stylish Bride, we ask them a slew of different questions, all designed to paint an overall picture of who this person is and what makes them feel amazing. We purposefully ask what they like to accentuate, not what their body type is.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride  by Julie Sabatino
Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride at Amazon.com

In my upcoming book, Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle, I dive into the fashion and discuss what shapes of dresses typically flatter each body type, but I also talk about the emotional side. I believe you have to try lots of different shapes to know what is right for you, no matter what your salesperson thinks because of the fruit she sees you as.

Maybe the sequel will be about curvy women because I don’t feel like we talk enough about the personal preference piece. That just because I have wide hips, doesn’t automatically mean that I don’t like them.

Wide hips aren’t a problem area, they are beautiful, and it’s up to the woman if she wants to show them off or play them down, for any reason at all. There are nuances to this and nuances to every woman. It’s not a one-fruit-shape-fits-all kind of thing.

Dressed, Styled, and Down the Aisle: Becoming a Stylish Bride by Julie Sabatino
image by Christian Oth for Julie Sabatino

Personal preferences need to be considered and not assumed. The more personal the experience, the more confident the woman. And while women today are so much further along in personal acceptance and body inclusivity than even 20 or so years ago when I was getting married, we still, as a wedding industry, and as a society, have a long way to go.

I look forward to the day women are not fruit, especially on their wedding day.

About the Guest Wrtier: Julie Sabatino

“The original — and most sought-after —bridal stylist in the world, Julie Sabatino is the founder of The Stylish Bride and the go-to for some of the most discerning brides in the world. Julie has spent two decades curating wedding looks for an impressive client list that includes celebrities, socialites, and elite power players who count on her impeccable taste, highly coveted connections, and unparalleled expertise to guide them through the often confusing world of wedding attire.”

This article, Breaking Free of the Body Type Mold for Your Big Day first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Add these 15 Plus Size Halloween Costume Ideas To Your Inspo Board ASAP https://thecurvyfashionista.com/plus-size-halloween-costumes-love/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/plus-size-halloween-costumes-love/#comments Tue, 10 Oct 2023 20:10:17 +0000 http://staging.thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=49073 Looking for a bit of Halloween Costume inspiration? These plus size Halloween Costumes are just a few that wowed us all!

This article, Add these 15 Plus Size Halloween Costume Ideas To Your Inspo Board ASAP first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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It’s that time of the year again, when the ghouls come out to play. Though this year has been full of frights, that doesn’t mean we can’t get into the fun Halloween spirit.

You see— Halloween is the time of the year where we can take on the persona of our favorite characters, pop culture icons or even abstract sayings (read: memes). No matter what you wear, this holiday is all about letting your imagination go wild and creating costumes that instantly remind you of your favorite something.

plus size rainbow brite costume


Plus size halloween costumes inspiration
Rainbow Brite by Brichibi Cosplays

And for those who are curious, we do have more than just sexy options! Who says plus size people can’t wear a Princess Jasmine costume, transform into a character from the Pirates of the Caribbean, or command the weather like Marvel’s Storm? It’s just a matter of using your imagination and inspiration for getting the look that fits your vision! 

And if you’re not sure where to begin to this search of inspiration, no worries. We got you covered.

15 Plus Size Halloween Costume Ideas For Your Pinterest Board

Looking for a bit of Halloween Costume inspiration? These plus size Halloween Costumes are just a few that wowed us all!

There were so many looks to choose from. These plus size influencers are serving us all of the Halloween inspiration.

From bloggers & influencers to cosplay heroes to illustrations, we have rounded up quite a few sources for inspiration this Halloween. And just so you know, even plus size women can turn into a Disney characters or Marvel superheroes, the choice is clearly yours!

What did you think of this list of creative plus size women serving us inspiration for days in the spookiest season of the year? Did you find a new fave? Will you dress up this Halloween? If you are, make sure you check out our places to shop for a plus size costume!

Omotoso Oluwatobi is a Lifestyle, Fashion Writer, Content Creator, Plus Size Enthusiast and Tree hugger. She’s on all social media platforms as @curvyoverload

This article, Add these 15 Plus Size Halloween Costume Ideas To Your Inspo Board ASAP first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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How Coco Chanel Helped Me Stay True to My Plus Size Self in Paris https://thecurvyfashionista.com/plus-size-in-paris/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/plus-size-in-paris/#respond Tue, 25 Jul 2023 19:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=136069&preview=true&preview_id=136069 Erin Zhurkin shares her lived experience from her book, Plus Size in Paris and how she learned to accept herself fully as a plus size person.

This article, How Coco Chanel Helped Me Stay True to My Plus Size Self in Paris first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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When I first arrived in Paris as an expat in 2014, I was immediately caught up in the whirlwind of trying to assimilate into the quintessentially Parisian way of life. I felt like I had been thrown into a daunting race to perfectly master French, become a wine connoisseur, know how to whip up a perfect soufflé—all in a city that was renowned for its fashion, food, and flair. And yet, the task felt like an impossible, inauthentic pursuit.

Often, the City of Lights felt harsh and unwelcoming. The quest to fit into the Parisian ideal of beauty was like trying to squeeze into a mold that was never designed for me. It was restricting, taking away the fun to relish in the bountiful, scrumptious food that Paris is celebrated for, and truly live the joie de vivre I yearned for.

Yet there was one quote from fashion world goddess Coco Chanel that comforted me:

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”

Coco Chanel

I wrote the quote on an index card that I placed in my journal, ready to be pulled out and read when I needed the affirmation. I ultimately incorporated it into my novel, Plus Size in Paris, inspired by my experience there.

Plus Size in Paris by Erin Zhurkin

The power of Chanel’s words also helped me discover how I could stay true to myself while being an outlier in a city as polished as Paris. These insights can help anyone be who they are anywhere in the world:

What Being Plus Size In Paris Taught Me

Embrace Your Inner Beauty

Embracing one’s inner beauty is the first step toward fostering a genuine appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. By recognizing our worth and disconnecting it from physical appearance, we free ourselves to engage with the world on a deeper level.

Appreciating our essence and unique contributions to any environment we find ourselves in – like being a plus size woman in Paris – we become more powerful than the norms that restrict us.

Plus size woman on the couch
Image via Canva.com

Reconnect with Joy

Rediscovering what brings us joy is a powerful way to enhance our experiences in unfamiliar places. Engaging in practices that tap into our inner wisdom guides us towards fulfilling adventures.

By nurturing a daily connection with our authentic selves, we open doors to new opportunities and experiences that align with our true desires.

Don’t Try to Fit In

Rather than trying to conform and fit in, the path to meaningful connections lies in embracing our true selves. Belonging does not require changing who we are but rather being unapologetically ourselves.

Plus Size Woman Laughing Michael Poley of Poley Creative for AllGo
Michael Poley of Poley Creative for AllGo

By expressing our authenticity, even in a foreign environment, we can foster connections that transcend cultural boundaries, creating opportunities for expansion, growth, and mutual understanding.

Take Small Risks

Taking small risks allows for personal growth without feeling overwhelmed or depleted. By letting go of self-consciousness and allowing oneself to enjoy the moment, connections can be formed in the most unlikely places.

Taking small steps outside of our comfort zones often yields tremendous rewards and expands our horizons.

Image via Natural Woman Collection via Canva
Image via Natural Woman Collection via Canva

Chanel’s words guided me back to my core, reminding me of my individuality, my creativity that had been overshadowed by the demands of motherhood and societal expectations. The essence of my journey in Paris became about unbecoming the layers of expectations and norms that were not genuinely me.

With the help of Chanel’s words, I learned to appreciate Paris from an observer’s standpoint, respecting and admiring its culture without losing my essence in the process. It was a liberating experience, one that brought me back to my creative roots and reminded me of my identity outside societal expectations.

To anyone venturing into unfamiliar territory and struggling to feel like you fit in, remember these words. They may guide you as they did me. No matter the context, what truly matters is being true to oneself.

***

Erin Zhurkin, author of PLUS SIZE IN PARIS, is an American overseas. After climbing the corporate ladder for many years when the expat life came calling, that ladder was put into storage and her creative life came down from the attic. With her creative voice now at the forefront, she’s living life across cultures and being inspired every step of the way.

To date, she’s lived in six different countries, including Ireland, the UK, Russia and France. Because of these rich and sometimes hard life experiences, she feels called to write stories that resonate across cultures, bringing to light the feeling of dépaysement that occurs. She currently lives in Seoul, Korea with her family and two cats, Coco, and Fifi.

This article, How Coco Chanel Helped Me Stay True to My Plus Size Self in Paris first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Picture Perfect! Here’s 6 Tips You Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot https://thecurvyfashionista.com/tips-booking-a-plus-size-photoshoot/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/tips-booking-a-plus-size-photoshoot/#respond Wed, 28 Jun 2023 20:00:00 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=135711 Ever wondered what you need to know to have an amazing plus size photoshoot? We welcome Robin Daley of Curvy Photography as she shares a few tips to get it right!

This article, Picture Perfect! Here’s 6 Tips You Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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If you are a business professional, a creator, have a family or are trying out the online dating scene, chances are you’ve had your photo taken by a professional photographer or have enjoyed a plus size photoshoot. During my 20-year career as a photographer, I’ve had my own headshot taken many times.

In my lifetime, I’ve been every size from a 12-22. I’ve learned to be kind to myself about my body. But when I was on the other side of the lens, I noticed the heavier I was, the more disappointing the experience was.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

I expected professional photographers to understand how to photograph a plus size woman and more importantly, care enough to do the work in a way that made me feel like a valued client. I’m here to tell you, that was not my experience.  

What I got back was a mess of awkward poses, bad angles and a tangled mess of hair and clothing that would never have passed inspection for a professional’s street size clients. Many times, I was left feeling terrible about myself, but I also knew I could do better.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

My experiences inspired me to create Curvy Photographer, a brand specializing in plus size headshot and portrait photography. I’ve been a wedding and portrait photographer for years, but realized this was a need that wasn’t being fulfilled.

Not only am I excited to step up to fill it, but I’m happy to share with you the benefit of my experience.

Below are my tips all plus size women should know when booking a plus size photoshoot. Use them to advocate for yourself and get the amazing pictures you deserve.

What to Look For In a Photographer for Your Plus Size Photoshoot

Do your research. Always check out a photographer’s professional portfolio for examples of other plus size clients. This is important because it could tell a story about the photographer’s relationship with plus size clientele.

Photographers who don’t have plus size representation in their online media may either be inexperienced with shooting such clients or they may not feel plus size clients are ‘on brand’ for them or beautiful enough to share in their portfolios. This is a huge red flag.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

If you’ve already started a conversation with this photographer, ask them if they have any sessions with a plus size client that they can share with you. If they don’t, proceed with caution, but read on.

Tips for Scoring Great Images from Your Plus Size Photoshoot

You can be the most body positive person on the planet but you still deserve to have a professional photographer pose you in a flattering way. And, by the way, most of the rules for flattering poses apply to literally everyone, no matter what size you are.

So, there is no excuse for a pro not to know these strategies and take the time and care to set you up in this way. Now, let’s take a look at what you should be aware of before your session.

Learn Your Angles

Shooting from a higher angle is universally flattering. We have all done this with our Insta selfies. If you follow some plus size clothing companies, you will frequently see the models shot from low angles. I personally cringe at this, but their priority is showing the clothing not the model. If you aren’t shooting commercial clothing photography, most of your images should be shot from a high angle.

You may already know that shooting from a higher angle minimizes a larger chin. But even if you aren’t concerned with your chin, high angle shots have other benefits. If you tend to look squinty in your images, the high angle will help to open your eyes and shine some natural light into them.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

Is your photographer shorter than you?  Because many of mine were, and I ended up with a gallery of slightly low angle headshots that were not a great look for me.

In my business, I include a height question in my questionnaire for this reason. If my client is my height or taller, I include a step stool in my gear bag for the day.  It’s a crucial tool. It’s okay to tell your photographer you want headshots from a higher angle.

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and we don’t want to stifle creativity. Sometimes low angle shots can add drama to an image or highlight a beautiful background.

If I’m shooting a low angle with a curvy client, I will usually ask them to angle their face to the side and upward. It helps add drama and is a more flattering to the face.

The Lean-Forward

This professional photographer go-to tip has actually produced some of the worst, most ridiculous headshots of me. The idea is that the farther you lean forward, the less your double chin will show. Yes, this is true, but everything in moderation, my friends.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

Some photographers had me lean so far forward that I was practically toppling over. It felt silly and wasn’t surprising when the images looked equally silly!

It’s true that you should lean towards the camera for your portraits, especially in a professional headshot. It is more flattering and also creates engagement between the subject and the viewer. Leaning back can emphasize a double chin and look awkward and detached.

The trick, however, is a subtle lean forward. You should not feel (or actually be) toppling over. If you are still trying to eliminate double chin, see tip one about the higher angle. It’s better for the photographer to be almost on top of you looking down than for you to be leaning too far forward.

The “S” Curve and Movement

Classically trained portrait photographers are taught that you should try to create an “S” curve when posing women. You may think your body resembles a different letter of the alphabet and I’d be right there with you.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

But it really doesn’t matter your size or shape, you can still create an S curve by shifting your hips and careful placement of hands and arms. Try touching your hair, your bra strap, or wrapping an arm around your waist.

If you are an apple-shaped person, it can be a bit more challenging. My best advice is to put on a flowy dress and dance! Movement in a dress will create beautiful lines every time. It’s my favorite thing to have my clients do.

If you aren’t into flowy dresses, that’s fine. Movement is still a great way to create flattering visual interest.

The Details

This is what I mean when I talk about being taken care of by your photographer. Unless you are specifically doing an artsy or editorial session during which things are supposed to unfold more organically, your photographer should be paying attention to details like how your hair is falling, if your jewelry is crooked, and if your clothing is askew. This is where I felt the most let down in some of my own headshots.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

The heavier I was, the less attention was paid to the details – as if the photographer was just trying to take photos that were “good enough” without taking the extra care they might take with a street size client.

Hear this! Your photographer should be fussing over you and if you are not comfortable being touched in that way, they can direct you on how to fix these things yourself.

You deserve this kind of care in a photo session.

Hair and Make Up Make a World of Difference!

I get it. You’ve spent a good bit of money on this session and the idea of paying another $200 for hair and makeup seems daunting. I’ve made these exact same deductions. But I’m telling you – if you aren’t great at doing your own hair and makeup, have it done professionally.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve created gorgeous portraits of my clients only to have them tell me they wish they had gotten their hair professionally styled. I can do a lot in Photo Shop, but I can’t give you a different hairstyle.  

Go all in. You won’t regret it and you deserve it.

Communication is Key

I’m not giving you all of this information so you can go out there and boss your photographer around. Photographers are artists honing their craft. They have ideas and visions and various degrees of experience.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

But, once you’ve done your research and booked them, you need to find a balance between trusting their instincts and also taking charge of the session for which you are spending good money.

Discuss your concerns ahead of time. Be clear about what you hope to get from your images and what your insecurities are in a respectful manner.

You chose them for a reason, so don’t micro-manage everything they do. But don’t be afraid to speak up during your session. It’s better to address concerns while you still have shooting time left than after you get disappointing images. Just keep your suggestions in the spirit of collaboration instead of criticism.

6 Tips Plus Size Women Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot
Image via Curvy Photographer

Regardless of size, we all have feelings about how we look in photos. Whether you are body positive, or still working through insecurities, we are all human. Give yourself grace and don’t let it stop you from booking the session.

The photography industry has played a role in how we see our bodies and the plus size community has been largely left in the shadows of professional media.

But ladies, we deserve to shine.

About Our Guest Author:

Curvy Photographer Headshot 1 scaled e1687978179465
Image via @MKLImages

Robin Dayley (she/her) has been a portrait and wedding photographer for 20+ years. Currently a San Diego resident, she also services Philadelphia, Delaware, and Maryland. You can check out her weddings and family portraits via her other brand, Dayley Photography. Robin loves spending free time volunteering with dog rescues which you can follow on Instagram @rescuedogphotog. She is a political activist and a high-functioning introvert.

This article, Picture Perfect! Here’s 6 Tips You Should Know When Booking a Plus Size Photoshoot first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Holiday Boudoir as a Gift? Yes! It’s the Gift that Keeps On Giving! https://thecurvyfashionista.com/holiday-boudoir-gift-2/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/holiday-boudoir-gift-2/#respond Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:30:03 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=91172&preview=true&preview_id=91172 If you are looking to give an intimate gift to your partner this holiday season, why not a holiday boudoir shoot?! We share how to make it happen with the help of Donna Lane Photography!

This article, Holiday Boudoir as a Gift? Yes! It’s the Gift that Keeps On Giving! first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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Have you thought giving a holiday boudoir photo to your loved one? As a boudoir photographer, you’d be surprised how many clients I have shot for their very own holiday boudoir gift!

Boudoir for the Holidays? Oh Yes!

If you are NOT familiar, boudoir is different from other niches because it is more intimate. You will be more vulnerable and forced to see yourself in ways other photography experiences can’t compare.

This usually results in loving yourself in a new and uncritical way. All of a sudden, confidence is boosted and body critiquing becomes a distant memory.

What to Know BEFORE You Book Your Holiday Boudoir Shoot

The Gift of Boudoir Photography
Image via Donna Lane Photography

The best boudoir experiences include professional hair styling and makeup application, use of a client wardrobe, and a fabulous shoot with multiple wardrobe changes.

Cost varies based on your region but the entire experience including keepsakes could cost anywhere between $500 to over $5000 depending on options.

Finding Your Best Boudoir Photographer

Looking to do a holiday boudoir shoot as a gift to a loved one?
Image via Donna Lane Photography

While searching for the perfect photographer, be sure to read reviews, ask questions, and get all costs up front so there are no surprises.

Many photographers offer fun and flirty couples sessions so this could be a gift for both you AND your significant other!

Boudoir photographers typically have a special Facebook group that you can join; do it!

The Gift of Boudoir Photography for the Holidays
Image via Donna Lane Photography

Evaluate their personality! Are they fun? Do they seem genuine? How do they respond to others?

You’ll quickly determine whether or not you’ll “vibe” with with them while posing in your knickers!

What to Wear In Your Holiday Boudoir Shoot

Today we are talking about giving the gift of a holiday boudoir shoot
Image via Donna Lane Photography

Whether you love or loathe lingerie, there are perfect wardrobe items for everyone.

If you’re more of a tomboy, a tank top and boy shorts will show you off in all your glorious splendor! Perhaps you’re feminine and flirty? Fishnet stockings and heels may all that’s required to demonstrate your unrivaled “badassery”!

Your photographer should be ready to supply resources based on your style and budget.

If all else fails, check out the fabulous plus size lingerie options on TCF!

The Final Product and Your Gift

The Gift of Boudoir Photography for the Holidays
Image via Donna Lane Photography

Most photographers sell some sort of luxury album featuring lush fabrics and vibrant pages. Inquire about product pricing so you have an idea as to the entire cost of the experience.

Ask your photographer if they offer any sort of prepayment plan so you can make small payments over time if necessary.

Don’t assume that digital downloads are included with your products. Most photographers will either add these for an additional fee or offer them with a higher priced product collection.

Expect to receive your fabulous products from two to six weeks following your boudoir session.

There are so many gift ideas out there, but few will impact multiple facets of your life like a holiday boudoir shoot will.

Plus Size Boudoir by Donna Lane Photography
Image via Donna Lane Photography

A boudoir shoot will boost your confidence, help you re-discover your sensuality and empower you for your next badass phase!

What are you waiting for?

Have you had a boudoir shoot before? Share your tips and experiences in the comments below!

About the author: Donna Lane

I’m Donna and I’m the proud owner of Donna Lane Photography.

I specialize in taking gorgeous pictures of beautiful souls in the Washington DC area.

This article, Holiday Boudoir as a Gift? Yes! It’s the Gift that Keeps On Giving! first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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How I Deal with Doctors While Living In A Plus Size Body https://thecurvyfashionista.com/being-fat-dealing-with-doctors/ https://thecurvyfashionista.com/being-fat-dealing-with-doctors/#comments Fri, 06 Aug 2021 12:00:12 +0000 https://thecurvyfashionista.com/?p=84272&preview=true&preview_id=84272 Being a plus size woman dealing with doctors can be an uncomfortable space. We invite Janet of Boticelli Rhode Island, to talk about her experiences.

This article, How I Deal with Doctors While Living In A Plus Size Body first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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So this is a tricky topic for me, a plus-size boutique owner, to write about as it pertains to our weight and dealing with the bias we experience with doctors who tell us to “lose weight” to make our problems disappear. Don’t laugh, but I am usually on the very opposite side of this issue. I am not a fan of losing weight to be beautiful. You already are.

I don’t agree with women that think being skinny will fix all of their problems. At the end of the day, you are still left with you. I am more about feeling comfortable in your own skin & being your healthiest version of you.

But today, I am compelled to write about the biases, stereotypes, and discriminations against plus size people in the medical profession. That, along with being fat while dealing with doctors and how I push back.

Being Fat and Dealing with Doctors

navigating doctors while fat
Photo by Elle Hughes

So often I hear women say, “If I could just lose this belly I would be fine” and despite the thousands of dollars spent and months of deprivation and starvation women cannot seem to lose anything.

Often I say, “Women who walk through my door are not the size they are because they can’t put the fork down, but because of menopause, genetics & medications.”

In my opinion, doctors play a large role in this process, with their weight discrimination & the systematic dismal of symptoms of plus size people by saying, “Lose weight and you won’t have this problem.”

Seriously?

I am now at a point in my life that when I meet a new doctor I say from the initial visit, “If all you want to do is talk about or blame my weight, then you are not the doctor for me. I have been this weight (almost literally) for 30 years & my symptoms are new so let’s not blame it on the weight, ok?”

Some doctors are surprised by my stance (usually male doctors), but most new doctors I’ve met have been rather receptive to my take on my health situation. I also say, “I am a player in my own health care & if you don’t see me as an equal in MY health then we’re not going to have a great relationship.” Yeah, I’m that girl.

I understand I am not a doctor and that I’m just a retailer, but I am the expert in ME. I will not be “Fat Tracked” by a doctor because they are too lazy or unwilling to do their job. Those days are OVER.

navigating doctor while fat
Photo by StockSnap

Think this isn’t a REAL issue? Let me give you a little example.

A dear friend of mine who is an eating disorder survivor & someone who has had a large weight gain during her recovery has been having LOTS of health issues as of late, some of which include sweating profusely, heavy breathing for minor exertion, sleep apnea, and skipping periods. She approached her GP and her doctor told her “You have PCOS. Lose weight, and it will get better.” That’s it.

The GP didn’t order any lab work nor check for the usual factors. Well, my friend desperately wants to conceive but with her system being so out of whack it isn’t happening. She went to a specialist on whom she “pulled a Jan” and set the rules about the weight conversation. The Doctor’s reply was, “Your weight is the least of my concerns.”

After a lengthy chat about her health issues, the specialist was shocked that the GP did not order any blood work nor did she check for the classic signs of PCOS like ‘the beard’.

Well, within 2 hours of her blood work her specialist called to tell her her thyroid numbers were sky high & that she needed to start thyroid meds ASAP. She also told her that the hypothyroidism was putting more strain on her system & heart than her weight.

My friend came to me with tears in her eyes & said: “I thought it was my fault”. Of course, you did. That’s what the weight-biased mentality of Western Medicine wants you to believe. 

feeling good is not reserved for the skinny
Photo courtesy of Janet Tanury

And. This. Happens. Every. Damn. Day.

As some of you can relate to, I am suffering from a lot of arthritis from an autoimmune disease & from wearing high heels on carpeted cement for the 30+ years I’ve been in retail. This year seems to be the worst. At the gentle nudging of a new GP, I reached out to an Obesity Medicine specialist.

Her job is to help coach people through healthy lifestyle changes, prescribe weight-loss drugs when necessary & look at your current list of meds to see if any of them could be causing or maintaining a higher weight.

I gave her my opening line & then added, “I want you to know I am not here because I have low self-esteem nor do I have any desire to be skinny. I am here because my weight is making it hard for me to stand long periods of time at work & it is affecting my business.”

She asked me, “How much would you like to lose?” I said, “25lbs. I feel really good at that weight.”

She did the slow blink. She replied, “That’s it? That’s easy.”

During this initial appointment she said, “Wow, you have a really good handle on the nutrition piece. You could get a little more exercise in & if you don’t have time for cardio try some weights. Now that I know you’re doing all the right things there let’s look at your meds.”

In about 10 seconds she said, “Here is your problem.”

Y’all, this is a medicine I have been taking for 25 years to help with my sleep. Not kidding. Even at a low dosage it will make you gain and/or maintain your weight and will not allow it to come off.

It was my turn to do the slow blink.

“Wait, what? You mean to tell me that all those doctors who have told me to lose weight in the last 25 years and not one of them saw this medication as an issue?”

*deep cleansing breath while trying to find a Zen place*

Forget it, I’ll Namaste another time.

Thus begins my tirade, “You wanna know why????? I’ll tell you why…BECAUSE no one listens to fat people! Like ever! No one takes us seriously when we’re sitting in a backless gown that is too small for us while our chubby ass cheeks are sticking to that tissue paper you all make us sit on! NO. ONE. LISTENS. TO. FAT. PEOPLE.”

The Doctor giggled and said ever so kindly, “I’m not sure why they didn’t say anything but I am here to make it right. By the way, you really need to be a writer or a speaker for the Obesity Society of America. You are really articulate about being plus size.” It was my turn to giggle, “Doc, you have no idea.”

So the Doctor & I decided to switch out the Devil’s Pill to something else and to see if there is any movement in my weight.

As I left her office I felt like I might have just gotten a new lease on life. I took a moment to count the blessing that I have found this practice and they are willing to find the answers.

This doctor did not just hand me a brochure about proper nutrition & exercise, pat me on the ass & send me out there to fail again. 

Navigating doctors while fat
Photo courtesy of Janet Tanury

I am not entirely sure why I am writing on this topic today. It is a problem that has been rampant throughout the medical profession for decades but today I am moved to write. Do not accept one doctor’s opinion or approach. I am telling you that you are the expert in YOU. Feeling better isn’t a privilege of the skinny.

Today I encourage you to be an advocate for yourself! I encourage you to continue to seek out doctors who will not put you on the “fat track”. Today I am telling you that you deserve to feel good too. 

Namaste.

Have you had similar experiences? Tell us in the comments!

About Janet Tanury

Hello! I am the Owner & Bra Whisperer of Botticelli RI, a plus size boutique in Rhode Island. I have had the pleasure of working with thousands of women over the last 16 years. In addition, I am a body-image influencer and hopefully, teach women to value themselves by my words and actions.

This article, How I Deal with Doctors While Living In A Plus Size Body first appeared on The Curvy Fashionista and is written by Guest Blogger.

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